the klan

today i spoke to your best friend of many, many years.
curiousity tamed.

i now know that she wants you, still.
though none of us can comprehend your late night outs.
and sudden athletic craze.
but i convinced that it's alright,
you having an affair with sports.

your best friend pointed out.
and asked me out right,
if i am interested in you.
i convinced him and myself that we are just friends, and it stops there.

and i too asked, if the feeling is mutual
he thinks you're flirting a lil more than usual
however, that left us both guessing.

at least my questions are answered before 2009 ends.
that you are just a phase and test to everyone.
very attractive and charming,
but nothing more than a married man,
and a good father.

i shall now take a step back,
retreat peacefully.

wrapping it up good

2009
has been one helluva rollercoaster ride.
and of the many happenings
you're one of my joys in life :)

so thank you,
for your presence,
perseverance of my nonsense,
and for being who you are -
my dose of sunshine and happy pill.

wishing you a blessed and smashing 2010 !
from the land afar.

paralysis of the heart and mind

funny how the heart can contradict the head
on a relatively mega scale.
that, being in the same body.
let alone two people confronting each other.

scenarios get you thinking.
although, paralysing your thoughts, at the same time.
pondering upon the dos and donts.

only to ultimately discover that you're hurt,
either way.

but better you than many. right?
then it leads to the next question.
what is right, and what is wrong?

does feeling good, constitute to being right.
they all say,
it's clear cut.
there's no two-way or ifs, buts, maybes and shoulds about it.

dear you

i can't pretend,
though i'd like to hide.
i (really) like you.
i know it's wrong.
and it's not the best-est feeling in the world right now.
so, pardon me but
i'm gonna stay away now okay.

it has been a pleasure knowing you.

...

now to muster the strength to say that and leave,
is completely different off pen.

thoughts provoking

if you're happily married..
you would wanna go home and spend time with your loved ones, right?

avatar

was awesome!

that aside,
what the fuck was i thinking?

come on, self reminder:
you do NOT wanna lose your mind again after what happened 6 months ago.

***
i cant get your smell off my mind.

cakes

dinner invite tonight. declined.
pick up packaged. declined.

dinner insisted tomorrow. KIV.
why are you doing this? :(

december invites danger

two lunch invites. dinner and supper. all in one day. inexplicably attractive. married but. the part that i go - oh no!

and WHY would someone who's married ask you out at 11pm, on a weekday?

actually the question should've just ended at "out".

IKEA!

:)

work.

move.

dead.

tired.

penglipurlara

the story is..

today she blew her top. to repeat the entire fiasco can drain me out further. so let's just put it, she fuckin blew her top. pot will escalate it to him (padan muka kau!).

it was such a stressful day that i forgot what the feeling would be like when i attend meetings with brands & cacs. they are usually a fun bunch of ppl. but gara gara fiasco today, it slipped my mind UNTIL i was actually at brands & cacs' floor. walked straight into the meeting room to prep as i was gonna co-brief the session.

then mr. called me to his place, met his friend, chatted, laughed and sang. we blasted the stereo throughout the floor. i loooooveee you for that!!! all the troubles just dissapeared. good looking, clever, funny, annoying but charming.

but the minute i went up to oasis again, fun and glits seemed like a distant memory.

confession of the day: im falling for you, as callet puts it.

december oh december!

reese is absolutely edible, i swear!
(tall, dark, handsome, suave and intelligent, with speks!)

cakes is inexplicably-irresistibly inviting, and
(all of the above, minus the speks and fair)

zee is strangely, very very very strangely - gah im lost for words.
(none of the above, just is! i did mention strange, didnt i)

lieyana, cepatlah balikkk.
KERJA BANYAK GILAAA NI!

cold baked beans & toast with melted butter

hvg my dinner now and im thinking of..

.. a degree in architecture
.. or a course in interior designing
.. watching hindi films!
.. and chinese movies. well jump & mulan are showing now.

i cant wait for the keys!

combo

graduated my masters with a high distinction, alhamdulillah.

and after all that misery these few weeks,
it's finally come to an end.
will be signing the papers tomorrow.
goodbye people.

-----------------

did i tell you,
i met someone new.
hello you,
nice to meet you.

have you ever

thought that 1 day,
you'll grow up..
and when being pestered by your friends to go out..

you'd say:

sorry babe, but i really, really cant. gotta finish this up for the.. PM?

i should've listened to dada

given the turn of events and consequences,
i'd rather stay in shenzhen's freezing winter,
when we had no clothes, no food and no money,
than coming home to an unwelcoming family.

ab-so-lute-ly SICK.