26th

and all i wanted was to see you..
to talk it out with you..
to be able to be friends with you..

i guess all that,
is too much to ask..
for a birthday request.

reality CHECK

surprise surprise.
sat next to me.

but cold.
and you were freakin out like fuck! HAHAHAHAHAH

ken turns 26!

on 12th jan - happy birthday big guy!

glad i decided to trot along.
ended up a good night.
loved the bunch.
and the new fresh faces.
and how the night ended with you :)

im counting days
3 more to go before a long, long hiatus
i dont know when i'll be able to see you again..

yours says to make up your mind.
her's says she's lost it.
mine says to just drop it all. hahaha typical.

laughing to myself

the thoughts i have at times. i even made myself ran the streets at 9pm in the dark, til i almost fell off thanks to the enzymes pumping in all wrong directions. and the mocha i had just before running i guess.

only to hv you text me later :)

radja; raw

dont know where to begin.
yest - friday. maybe the reason why.

we both got to our senses.
you're trying to break it off.
the long drive home.
with the break up songs.
grey and pouring.
the perfect setting.

your stars hv been 150% accurately true too to date.
all aligned with your actions, perhaps vice versa.

this is for the best, i keep telling my wounded heart..

room service?

welcoming w open arms.
choice of meal?
meaty or, i could just skip to dessert :)
would i be too sweet for you?
i'l have to taste to know?
your place?
time?

an hour later - you really came. and i thank my lucky stars for hvg my gals all at my place that nite, or it wouldve ended up bad. what the hell were you thinking?? and i, not for a split second thought you were for real!

you hv no idea dont you.
no bloody idea how much im holding myself back from you..

:(

and tonight we hung out with more of your boys. i love them. but ofcourse you thought that my girls gave you death stares. hahaha. HELLO seriously! we managed to talk a little, before you placed your soft lips on my cheeks. but all in all, you said that you meant everything you said. and im left dumbfounded - not knowing what to do with you.

from what i gathered, you love them to bits. and have been doing the running around. while the other half's nowhere to be seen in the picture.

this whole episode saddens me. really.

the walking contradiction

we hung out last night.
and that made my day :)
after the looong trip being away from 'home'.

this infatuation is unhealthy,
you know it too.
i now want you physically as well. SIGH.

the goodnight bid has got me yearning for more.
and i just had to tell you that i miss you.
to at least have that off my chest if nothing else.
and you spontaneously reacted just rightly.

im so baffled with your actions,
confused with myself too now.
i want you but i dont.

another taboo love in the making.
i give up rationalising.

good deeds

requires a lot of effort to pull it through.
doesn't it just get tiring after all?

its so easy to just screw it all up in a jiffy.
but the thought of even doing good,
can drain you 360 already.

i wonder,
does it not tire you, after awhile?